what's the worst OKcupid/POF date you've ever been on?

i was 18, she was 19

-so this girl agrees to meet me the same day I message her (knowing nothing about her other than that she likes the Beatles and "going out with friends")

-I agree to make dinner and have her come over for some wine. romantic as fuck, got some $9.99 shiraz and made burgers with mashed potatoes

-she's supposed to come over at 7:30

-it's 8:30. it's 9:30. 10:00. what the fuck. food's cold, she's not picking up her phone.

-calls me at 11 to tell me she's lost

-she's literally one street over and it sounds like she's dodging traffic on her end

-finally arrives, completely fucking wasted. looks at the food i made, says "looks like shit", gives me a sloppy kiss on the mouth and passes out on my roommate's futon

-my mind is full of fuck, decide to go to the bar around the corner with roommate #1

-a few beers in, roommate #2 sends me a text: "dude your girlfriend pissed herself all over my futon, i tried to wake her up but she's not moving, i think she died"

-i get back home and she won't move. i'm getting pissed because a. i'm not getting pussy, b. who the fuck pisses themselves on a first date?

-fill up a jug of ice water and pour it ALL over her and yell "wake the fuck up!". at this point, i don't give a fuck

-she has piss ALL over her pants, shirt, etc. i make her get in the shower, she asks if i can help her

-i strip off her clothes, hang them on the curtain rod, and bring a towel for her when she's done. she asks me to stay in case she slips, even though she's sitting in the tub

-she puts my hand on her tits and drags it down to her pussy. i'm actually getting kind of horny, but this is against my 18 year old set of morals and i promptly leave

-chatting with roommates about how i'm going to buy some bleach to clean the futon first thing in the morning

-she waltzes, completely naked, in front of my 3 roommates in the living room and lays on my bed

-get in bed with her, she starts telling me about how she got kicked out of home and had to live in a homeless shelter

-start making out

-

-definitely not my proudest moment, but felt good man

-gave her $2.50 for the subway the next day and never saw her again

funny thing was that the next day, roommate #1 told me he woke up to take a piss at 4 AM and when he turned his head, his face collided with her pissy pants

i wasn't allowed to bring any girls home for a while

After the last thread i decided to check it out last night, i had no idea i already had an account from 4 years ago that was never really set up. I have no idea how this works. 2 chicks messaged me already but

After the last thread i decided to check it out last night, i had no idea i already had an account from 4 years ago that was never really set up. I have no idea how this works. 2 chicks messaged me already but

i've met some solid girls from okcupid, but POF is a clusterfuck

In for more of these!

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i've met some solid girls from okcupid, but POF is a clusterfuck

maybe i should cruise around then

Please more stories stat!

her pissy pants

lol

I bet @gimpshiznit has a good one or two

I bet @gimpshiznit has a good one or two

i know some of you have some grimy stories to tell

Craigslist, about 8 years ago or so...

Invited some girl over to watch a movie at my place. She arrived about 15-20 late. She was a lot bigger than her pictures proved, but I sort of expected that [fat arms in picture]. We watched some movie and she started making moves mid way through. I was horny as hell so I said whatever. We eventually moved the bedroom.

Once in the bedroom I start to pull her clothes off, and she tells me no. I was like wtf! She tells me it's that time of the month. I was like... ok how bout a bj? She says no.

I kicked her out saying we'd get together another time.

I ignored her calls / texts for a week or so before she took the hint.

First fat girl I attempted, and I got denied. Major blow to me, never again with a fat chick.

No pics of her, just think fat filipino chick.

Craigslist, about 8 years ago or so...

Invited some girl over to watch a movie at my place. She arrived about 15-20 late. She was a lot bigger than her pictures proved, but I sort of expected that [fat arms in picture]. We watched some movie and she started making moves mid way through. I was horny as hell so I said whatever. We eventually moved the bedroom.

Once in the bedroom I start to pull her clothes off, and she tells me no. I was like wtf! She tells me it's that time of the month. I was like... ok how bout a bj? She says no.

I kicked her out saying we'd get together another time.

I ignored her calls / texts for a week or so before she took the hint.

First fat girl I attempted, and I got denied. Major blow to me, never again with a fat chick.

No pics of her, just think fat filipino chick.

haha, i had one of those too.

-also 18
-meet up at her place
-as soon as i walk in the door, her mom and dad are at the dining room table greeting me and asking me to sit down
-wtf
-have dinner and awkwardly chat about nothing
-mom keeps offering me dessert and i keep telling her i don't want it
-watching movie in TV room
-girl starts jacking me off then stops suddenly and says "WE CAN'T DO THIS HERE. LET'S GO TO YOUR PLACE"
-ride bikes to my apartment (she was pretty swift for a beluga)
-she gets on top and i can feel my fucking pelvis crack
-i tell her to get off, we watch Lost for a bit and i sneak her out in the morning

Lol thread

"she was pretty swift for a beluga"

actually laughed out loud

haha, i had one of those too.

-also 18
-meet up at her place
-as soon as i walk in the door, her mom and dad are at the dining room table greeting me and asking me to sit down
-wtf
-have dinner and awkwardly chat about nothing
-mom keeps offering me dessert and i keep telling her i don't want it
-watching movie in TV room
-girl starts jacking me off then stops suddenly and says "WE CAN'T DO THIS HERE. LET'S GO TO YOUR PLACE"
-ride bikes to my apartment (she was pretty swift for a beluga)
-she gets on top and i can feel my fucking pelvis crack
-i tell her to get off, we watch Lost for a bit and i sneak her out in the morning

Moar!

I want to party with godspeed

Holy fuck I don't think anyone is gonna beat Godspeed's

I don't have any horror stories, because I am very picky
Met 4 girls from the internet, 2 short term relationships, 2 short term vacation flings.
I actually pay attention to their personality and physical shape

fucking sabrina

Friends GF set me up with this bitch. Myspace angles FTL. I walk in and there the beast sits, I cried a little inside but said well I have fucked worse. Then it spoke in a black ghetto voice "Who is the skinny white kid." She was worse than ghetto trash I was fucking at that time. Went to some bar with the friend and his gf, who I threatened both of theirs lives multiple times by now. At the bar I saw some other friends, slipped away. Then the beast came over and started slobbering all over my face. At this point I tell her to stop, she gets pissed and said what the fuck I thought you wanted to fuck me. I said no. Got up and walked out of the bar then walked home. I guess she was very upset.

Friends GF set me up with this bitch. Myspace angles FTL. I walk in and there the beast sits, I cried a little inside but said well I have fucked worse. Then it spoke in a black ghetto voice "Who is the skinny white kid." She was worse than ghetto trash I was fucking at that time. Went to some bar with the friend and his gf, who I threatened both of theirs lives multiple times by now. At the bar I saw some other friends, slipped away. Then the beast came over and started slobbering all over my face. At this point I tell her to stop, she gets pissed and said what the fuck I thought you wanted to fuck me. I said no. Got up and walked out of the bar then walked home. I guess she was very upset.

pic?