what's the worst OKcupid/POF date you've ever been on?

i pozzed everyone who posted a story

damn you been here a minute and already quintupled my poz

i suck at getting aids

ive never had a bad cupid/pof date now that I think about it

i was 18, she was 19

-so this girl agrees to meet me the same day I message her (knowing nothing about her other than that she likes the Beatles and "going out with friends")

-I agree to make dinner and have her come over for some wine. romantic as fuck, got some $9.99 shiraz and made burgers with mashed potatoes

-she's supposed to come over at 7:30

-it's 8:30. it's 9:30. 10:00. what the fuck. food's cold, she's not picking up her phone.

-calls me at 11 to tell me she's lost

-she's literally one street over and it sounds like she's dodging traffic on her end

-finally arrives, completely fucking wasted. looks at the food i made, says "looks like shit", gives me a sloppy kiss on the mouth and passes out on my roommate's futon

-my mind is full of fuck, decide to go to the bar around the corner with roommate #1

-a few beers in, roommate #2 sends me a text: "dude your girlfriend pissed herself all over my futon, i tried to wake her up but she's not moving, i think she died"

-i get back home and she won't move. i'm getting pissed because a. i'm not getting pussy, b. who the fuck pisses themselves on a first date?

-fill up a jug of ice water and pour it ALL over her and yell "wake the fuck up!". at this point, i don't give a fuck

-she has piss ALL over her pants, shirt, etc. i make her get in the shower, she asks if i can help her

-i strip off her clothes, hang them on the curtain rod, and bring a towel for her when she's done. she asks me to stay in case she slips, even though she's sitting in the tub

-she puts my hand on her tits and drags it down to her pussy. i'm actually getting kind of horny, but this is against my 18 year old set of morals and i promptly leave

-chatting with roommates about how i'm going to buy some bleach to clean the futon first thing in the morning

-she waltzes, completely naked, in front of my 3 roommates in the living room and lays on my bed

-get in bed with her, she starts telling me about how she got kicked out of home and had to live in a homeless shelter

-start making out

-

-definitely not my proudest moment, but felt good man

-gave her $2.50 for the subway the next day and never saw her again

funny thing was that the next day, roommate #1 told me he woke up to take a piss at 4 AM and when he turned his head, his face collided with her pissy pants

i wasn't allowed to bring any girls home for a while

Awesome. I had a chick off POF who I fucked a few times that would get SHITFACED drunk. One time she started sleepwalking and stood in the middle of my floor and pissed like a waterfall then climbed back into bed and went to sleep. I was fucking pissed because I had to clean it up, and she was begging me to fuck her again in the morning but I refused, told her we could never speak again and took her home

Probably the worst though I met some girl at the bar that was relatively cute, but had a missing tooth on the side of her top row of teeth. Couldn't tell this in pics. Totally lost all interest once I figured that out. She was a super science nerd so I started arguing with her about some random theory (being kind of a dick, not giving a fuck) until she got pissed off enough to leave. Thankfully she drove herself

in on 1

Never had a PFO/OC date, but I've been set up with some fucking chicks before and all I thought was "how the fuck is this girl gonna set me up with this yeti?"

My buddies girlfriend hooked me up with this Persian girl ( right?). Well I talk to her through AIM or MSN whichever. She is really cool and sends me face shots (this is before Facebook) and she was really cute. Of course I was a naive cunt and didn't realize trick angles yet. So we meet at the movies and it is dark. I see my buddies girlfriend and a fucking marshmallow walk around the corner. I get all hot and shit in my head thinking "what the fuck kind of situation have I gotten myself in?". This girl smells good and she would look amazing if she lost some weight. The funny part is she was a face model for make up companies or some bullshit. We go into this movie and we are holding hands and whatever (I feel guilty because I talked to her all sweet for 2 weeks) and I end up finger blasting her Sarlacc. After the movie we bounced and I never talked to her again. Of course I received a bunch of hateful / emotion messages on AIM, but I couldn't be with a fucking beast that was bigger than me in public.

Never had a PFO/OC date, but I've been set up with some fucking chicks before and all I thought was "how the fuck is this girl gonna set me up with this yeti?"

My buddies girlfriend hooked me up with this Persian girl ( right?). Well I talk to her through AIM or MSN whichever. She is really cool and sends me face shots (this is before Facebook) and she was really cute. Of course I was a naive cunt and didn't realize trick angles yet. So we meet at the movies and it is dark. I see my buddies girlfriend and a fucking marshmallow walk around the corner. I get all hot and shit in my head thinking "what the fuck kind of situation have I gotten myself in?". This girl smells good and she would look amazing if she lost some weight. The funny part is she was a face model for make up companies or some bullshit. We go into this movie and we are holding hands and whatever (I feel guilty because I talked to her all sweet for 2 weeks) and I end up finger blasting her Sarlacc. After the movie we bounced and I never talked to her again. Of course I received a bunch of hateful / emotion messages on AIM, but I couldn't be with a fucking beast that was bigger than me in public.

I am in tears

Never had a PFO/OC date, but I've been set up with some fucking chicks before and all I thought was "how the fuck is this girl gonna set me up with this yeti?"

My buddies girlfriend hooked me up with this Persian girl ( right?). Well I talk to her through AIM or MSN whichever. She is really cool and sends me face shots (this is before Facebook) and she was really cute. Of course I was a naive cunt and didn't realize trick angles yet. So we meet at the movies and it is dark. I see my buddies girlfriend and a fucking marshmallow walk around the corner. I get all hot and shit in my head thinking "what the fuck kind of situation have I gotten myself in?". This girl smells good and she would look amazing if she lost some weight. The funny part is she was a face model for make up companies or some bullshit. We go into this movie and we are holding hands and whatever (I feel guilty because I talked to her all sweet for 2 weeks) and I end up finger blasting her Sarlacc. After the movie we bounced and I never talked to her again. Of course I received a bunch of hateful / emotion messages on AIM, but I couldn't be with a fucking beast that was bigger than me in public.

you had me at yeti

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Bro I was in like 8th grade-9th grade at the time and I forgot her name.

this story isn't so much terrible as it is bizarre.

last year i started chatting up some Iranian chick on POF. her family was part of some persecuted class of dune coons over there in Iran so they went to the UN and got sent to the US. she invites me over to her single dorm room and she isn't too bad looking. giant tits and a pretty sexy accent. her room, though, is fucking ridiculous. she had like 3 fucking space heaters running on full blast, it had to be at least 80 degrees in there, and it smelled like a camel's ass. she had that al jezeera shit running on TV and all sorts of goofy crap all over the walls that you might find at an Iranian version of TGI Fridays.

we get to watching some dumb ass movie and pretty quickly she's like "i want to watch something else" and grabs her laptop. i'm like, oh fuck, here comes the suicide bomber training videos. much to my surprise she puts on porn... in real player format . she couldn't figure out why i thought it was funny. she tells me she wants to watch me play with my dick, so i do, and she grabs a giant vibrator and starts going to town. i keep trying to get my fuck on but she won't let me, she just wants to watch me jack off. so i bust a nut and i'm pretty drunk and tired at this point so i roll over to sleep while she's still buzzing away. i'm awoken during the middle of the night to her laying next to me violently kicking. i'm like "what the fuck" and she explains that she was having a nightmare/flashback of her father beating her and her mother... sounds about right.

here's a pic:

you had me at yeti

had me at "fucking marshmallow"

met girl at bar, got hammered, made out, danced, 1:30am she invites me back

my jacket is stolen along with phone/keys/everything but wallet

it's ~15 degrees out and i have a thin t shirt on

her obese roommate comes lumbering over, drunk, screaming she can't bring me home what if i'm a rapist blah blah blah - i say i'll sleep in their boiler room, just let me come over - they argue more, the fat fucking fat fat fuck cunt wins out, they leave

takes me 1hr to walk to / get to the train home

the train stops at one point, doors open, at a station for over an hour. And it's just me and hobos. Whole body shivering

got home ~4:15am, had to bang on the door over and over until the night guard finally heard me

had to replace all the shit I lost

bam

Never had a PFO/OC date, but I've been set up with some fucking chicks before and all I thought was "how the fuck is this girl gonna set me up with this yeti?"

My buddies girlfriend hooked me up with this Persian girl ( right?). Well I talk to her through AIM or MSN whichever. She is really cool and sends me face shots (this is before Facebook) and she was really cute. Of course I was a naive cunt and didn't realize trick angles yet. So we meet at the movies and it is dark. I see my buddies girlfriend and a fucking marshmallow walk around the corner. I get all hot and shit in my head thinking "what the fuck kind of situation have I gotten myself in?". This girl smells good and she would look amazing if she lost some weight. The funny part is she was a face model for make up companies or some bullshit. We go into this movie and we are holding hands and whatever (I feel guilty because I talked to her all sweet for 2 weeks) and I end up finger blasting her Sarlacc. After the movie we bounced and I never talked to her again. Of course I received a bunch of hateful / emotion messages on AIM, but I couldn't be with a fucking beast that was bigger than me in public.

Dude... you fucking fail bro

this story isn't so much terrible as it is bizarre.

last year i started chatting up some Iranian chick on POF. her family was part of some persecuted class of dune coons over there in Iran so they went to the UN and got sent to the US. she invites me over to her single dorm room and she isn't too bad looking. giant tits and a pretty sexy accent. her room, though, is fucking ridiculous. she had like 3 fucking space heaters running on full blast, it had to be at least 80 degrees in there, and it smelled like a camel's ass. she had that al jezeera shit running on TV and all sorts of goofy crap all over the walls that you might find at an Iranian version of TGI Fridays.

we get to watching some dumb ass movie and pretty quickly she's like "i want to watch something else" and grabs her laptop. i'm like, oh fuck, here comes the suicide bomber training videos. much to my surprise she puts on porn... in real player format . she couldn't figure out why i thought it was funny. she tells me she wants to watch me play with my dick, so i do, and she grabs a giant vibrator and starts going to town. i keep trying to get my fuck on but she won't let me, she just wants to watch me jack off. so i bust a nut and i'm pretty drunk and tired at this point so i roll over to sleep while she's still buzzing away. i'm awoken during the middle of the night to her laying next to me violently kicking. i'm like "what the fuck" and she explains that she was having a nightmare/flashback of her father beating her and her mother... sounds about right.

here's a pic:

holy shit that's awkward

this story isn't so much terrible as it is bizarre.

last year i started chatting up some Iranian chick on POF. her family was part of some persecuted class of dune coons over there in Iran so they went to the UN and got sent to the US. she invites me over to her single dorm room and she isn't too bad looking. giant tits and a pretty sexy accent. her room, though, is fucking ridiculous. she had like 3 fucking space heaters running on full blast, it had to be at least 80 degrees in there, and it smelled like a camel's ass. she had that al jezeera shit running on TV and all sorts of goofy crap all over the walls that you might find at an Iranian version of TGI Fridays.

we get to watching some dumb ass movie and pretty quickly she's like "i want to watch something else" and grabs her laptop. i'm like, oh fuck, here comes the suicide bomber training videos. much to my surprise she puts on porn... in real player format . she couldn't figure out why i thought it was funny. she tells me she wants to watch me play with my dick, so i do, and she grabs a giant vibrator and starts going to town. i keep trying to get my fuck on but she won't let me, she just wants to watch me jack off. so i bust a nut and i'm pretty drunk and tired at this point so i roll over to sleep while she's still buzzing away. i'm awoken during the middle of the night to her laying next to me violently kicking. i'm like "what the fuck" and she explains that she was having a nightmare/flashback of her father beating her and her mother... sounds about right.

here's a pic:

Dude... you fucking fail bro

I was in like 8th or 9th grade lol.

So I had just set up my OK cupid profile and finally setup a date with this geeky chick. She had a single picture on her profile which should have been a red flag from the start. She didn't have a fat face, so I decided to go against my better judgement and give it a shot.

I ended up meeting her at a corner store, spotted her, and briefly considered just driving away. Picture a fat mess with rainbow hair wearing cat ears.

She gets in, the conversation is awkward and tense, I don't want to be there, I've mentally detached from the situation, and then my truck starts to run like a bag of shit. I'm done with the date but still have to drive her home. I park the truck, get out, and start fucking around under the hood. She's still making awkward conversation and I'm trying to figure out what's wrong. I told her to get in the drivers seat, hold the brake and give it gas. The catalytic converter's plugged. I limp it back, dropped her off, we never spoke again.

Had one date of OKC. She's normal and we still talk after hooking up.

The worst experience was not a date, but with a girl i met at a club. It started well, we were dancing all night together, kissing, laughing, playing with boobies/ass, etc.
Around 4am she invited me to her place. We could barely walk, way too hammered. Took a cab, first 10 mins we were all over each other
then she asked me if I minded being called Alex. Yeah, whatever. 5 mins later she started crying. When we got out she went completely crazy, hysterical tears and rambling about how much of an asshole I was. Apparently at that point she thought I was Alex. I think he dumped her or something. Then started running around in the middle of a road and yelling shit that didn't even make sense. I had no idea where I was. 5 am, somewhere outside of the city. Some dude, who was driving by, stopped to ask her if I was a rapist. Wtf. Then she asked me to buy her a can of coke. I only had a 50$ bill, gave it to her, 5 mins later she ran off with my money crying like a mental patient. Never saw her again.

The worst experience was not a date, but with a girl i met at a club. It started well, we were dancing all night together, kissing, laughing, playing with boobies/ass, etc.
Around 4am she invited me to her place. We could barely walk, way too hammered. Took a cab, first 10 mins we were all over each other
then she asked me if I minded being called Alex. Yeah, whatever. 5 mins later she started crying. When we got out she went completely crazy, hysterical tears and rambling about how much of an asshole I was. Apparently at that point she thought I was Alex. I think he dumped her or something. Then started running around in the middle of a road and yelling shit that didn't even make sense. I had no idea where I was. 5 am, somewhere outside of the city. Some dude, who was driving by, stopped to ask her if I was a rapist. Wtf. Then she asked me to buy her a can of coke. I only had a 50$ bill, gave it to her, 5 mins later she ran off with my money crying like a mental patient. Never saw her again.

dear god she called you Alex and took your 50

dear god she called you Alex and took your 50

I doubt you'll find a story with a happy end here

I doubt you'll find a story with a happy end here

i'd have been pissed

but also pissed myself laughing